Table of Contents

A Note to Memoirists . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3

Things You Need to Know About Memoir . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5

The Three Stages of Memoir Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

What is a Memoir and Why Write One? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

Who's Your Audience? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

Scenes: Building Blocks for Your Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13

Why You Need to Write Scenes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13

Stage One: Kick-Starting Your Memoir . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Turning Points . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15

Themes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

Messy First Chapters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

How Much Truth to Tell: The Memoirist's Dilemma . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

Mining Your Memories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

Creating Your Memory Lists . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

Your Timeline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

Making Your Timeline Exercise Work for You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

Emotional Takeaway and Setting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33

Freewriting, Outlining, and Character Sketching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37

Freewriting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37

Outlining . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45

Character Sketching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

End of Stage One . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

Stage Two: The Muddy Middle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65

The Critical Voices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .67

The Nasty Inner Critic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68

The Nice Inner Critic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .72

Outer Critics: Worries about Family and Truth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .74

Your Healing Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76

Writing to Heal Trauma . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76

A Sacred, Safe Space to Create . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .81

Dead or Alive, Truth or Lie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

Secrets, Lies, and Shame . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83

Affirmations—Antidotes to the Inner Critic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89

Truth and Memory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

Procrastination and Time Bandits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

Scheduling Your Writing Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

Plot and Structure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .104

Working with Your Narrative Arc . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106

Time in Memoir Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110

End of the Muddy Middle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116

Stage Three: Birthing Your Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117

Revision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Improving Characterization . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Legal and Ethical Issues in Your Memoir as You Get Ready

for Publication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .120

Changing Names to Protect the Innocent and the Guilty . . . . . . . . . . . .120

Disclaimers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .120

People in Your Book—Inform Them or Ask Permission? . . . . . . . . . . . .122

More Legal Terms: Public Disclosure of Private Facts and Libel . . . . .125

Peer Readers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .126

Types of Editing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .127

Choosing an Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .128

Platform . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .128

Blog/Website . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129

Social Media—an Always Shifting World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131

Three Paths to Publishing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137

Publishing in Large Publishing Houses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137

Publishing with Small Publishers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .145

Self-Publishing with Your Own Publishing Company . . . . . . . . . . . . . .145

Self-Publishing with Self-Publishing Companies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .146

Your Book Out in the World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147

Blog Tours . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .147

Social Media Marketing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .149

Bookstores . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .148

Speaking Engagements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151

Oh, and Have Fun, Too! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .153

The End of Stage Three . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153

Writing Inspirations: The Arc of Your Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .155

Births and Deaths . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .156

Early Childhood and Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .160

Roots and Legacies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .164

Fathers and Mothers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .168

House and Landscape as Mirrors of Soul . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .172

Love, Marriage, and Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .178

Seasons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180

Holidays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184

Legacies and Reflections . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188

Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .192

Gratitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .196

Appendix . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .201

About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205

About the Author

Linda Joy Myers is founder and president of the National Association of Memoir Writers (namw.org) and co-president of the Women's National Book Association, San Francisco. A national memoir speaker and coach, she's ;the author of The Power of Memoir—How to Write Your Healing Story. She co-teaches the program Write your Memoir in Six Months with Brooke Warner, and offers teleseminars and workshops nationally. ;

Reviews

“Memoir guru Linda Joy Myers packs a lot into this useful manual. This is more than a workbook full of exercises and prompts—it’s a guide from a veteran who understands the complexity of the memoir journey. If you’re writing a memoir, this workbook will become your new best friend.”
—Brooke Warner, author of What’s Your Book?
“This helpful workbook is crammed with practical advice, thought-provoking questions, resources, and space to jot down ideas. Linda Joy Myers has created a toolkit any writer can use to successfully write, refine, and publish a memoir. I only wish I’d had it when I was writing mine.”
—Eleanor Vincent, author of Swimming with Maya: A Mother’s Story
“Myers has written the definitive guide on how to transform your life journey into a powerful, well-structured, memorable story that will touch readers. For the beginner or the seasoned writer, Journey of Memoir is destined to become a classic.”
—Jordan E. Rosenfeld, author of Make a Scene: Crafting a Powerful Story One Scene at a Time
“It’s about time someone wrote a real guide for memoirists of all levels. A must-read for anyone who has ever wanted to write their life story but didn’t know where to begin. Concise, simple, and highly effective.”
—Oksana Marafioti, author of American Gypsy