Do you love the smell of shit? Can you survive on 5 hours of broken sleep? Can you last 12 months with no sex? Does living with a moody bitch sound appealing? Could you survive if your income was halved and your expenses doubled? Do you enjoy being puked on? Can you happily watch 'Cinderella' on DVD 12 times in a row? If you answered 'yes' to all of the above questions, then having children is exactly what you need to do. Of course, you can't have just one because who will the kid play with? My name is Paul Browning, and as a fellow man, it's my job to warn you in advance about what's in store for you. I'm not going to tell you not to start a family because you might really want to do it. No, instead, I just want to give you a glimpse of what life will be like once you have one. Don't say I didn't warn you!