Table of Contents

About the Author... ii Acknowledgements... vii Introduction... 1 Parenting and Social Media... 1 Consequences of Too Much Online Use... 4 The Teenage Years and Social Media... 4 Mental Fitness and Mind Strength... 6 The Importance of Age Restrictions ... 8 Social Media Sites and Protection: Getting Your Child Started ... 10 Why Does Mental Fitness Matter So Much? ... 11 Who Is This Book For? ... 11 Why Read It?... 12 What Does This Book Contain?... 12 Section I: Gaining Mental Fitness... 17 1. Step One: Understanding Mind Development... 19 Understanding Mind Development: Understanding the Unconscious... 19 Understanding the Stages of Psychological Development... 26 Adolescence and Identity Formation... 31 Mind Development and Emotion... 37 The Difference between How Adolescents and Adults Think... 41 Identity Formation and Sex... 45 2. Step Two: Understanding Confidence and Its Sources... 51 The Context of Confidence... 51 The Confidence Circle... 57 The Power of Perception... 61 Confidence as a Fluid: The Water in a Jug Analogy... 66 Confidence Getting Knocked... 69 The Mind Is a Muscle: Strengthen It... 71 3. Step Three: Making Attachment Secure... 73 What Is Attachment?... 73 Attachment Quality and Social Media... 79 Attachment Styles... 86 How Attachment Matters... 90 The Secure Base... 92 Attachment and Exclusion Online... 95 Section II: Managing When Times Get Tough... 99 4. Step Four: Knowing How to Manage Difficult Emotions... 101 What Are Difficult Emotions?... 101 Considering Impulsivity... 102 Difficult Feelings and Social Media... 104 An Action Plan for Managing Difficult Situations ... 105 Sam and the Party... 106 Lily and Tom... 108 The Link Between Feeling and Thought... 110 Impulsivity and Social Media... 112 Impulsivity, Sexting and Self-Worth: Case Studies... 114 Adam and the Explicit Image... 114 Emily and the Sexts... 119 The Link Between Feelings, Thoughts and Beliefs... 127 5. Step Five: How to Recover if Things Go Wrong... 129 The Importance of Being Prepared ... 129 Influencing Recovery - What Helps?... 130 What if Professional Help Is Required When Something Goes Wrong?... 132 What Can Go Wrong on Social Media?... 132 Case Study One: A Situation Involving Potential Danger for Your Child... 132 Molly's Story... 132 What Parents Can Do to Help Recovery: Molly's Story... 138 Case Study Two: When Someone Else's Words or Actions Cause Difficulty for Your Child... 140 Eugene's Story... 140 Case Study Three: When the Difficulty Lies in Your Child's Thoughts and Beliefs... 149 Sophie's Story... 149 Knowing How and When the Focus Needs to Be on Recovery... 158 Conclusion... 159 Being a Parent in Today's World... 159 The Stories We Hold... 161 References ... 169 Further Reading... 170

About the Author

Anne McCormack is a psychotherapist based in Dublin. With over 15 years' experience of working with families and young people, she is an expert on how social media has changed the landscape when it comes to parenting young people and helping them stay mentally well. Anne writes regularly for the Irish Times and Niall Breslin's mental health blog, A Lust for Life. She also has been published in the Irish Independent and HerFamily.ie. Anne is an experienced public speaker and has been interviewed many times on radio. She is keen to host in-shop events where the issues facing young people online can be discussed with parents. Anne would love to tie these talks in to the promotion and focus that will be given to Internet Safety Day which is scheduled for spring 2017.