Now in paperback, this indispensable guide combines clinical analysis with psychological profiles of famous narcissists to help you recognize, cope with, and ultimately overcome the destructive behavior of narcissists.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She lives in Carlsbad, California.
aPsychotherapist Martinez-Lewi combines clinical analysis with
psychological profiles of famous people she believes to have been
narcissists (e.g., Frank Lloyd Wright, Ayn Rand) in this valuable
guide to recognizing, coping with, and overcoming narcissistic
behavior. She focuses on the high-level narcissist, i.e., the
aomnipotent, grandiose, often charismatic individual of
overreaching ambition and palpable hubris, a distinguishing
diagnostically between narcissists and borderline and antisocial
personalities. She further presents a historical and societal
perspective on narcissism, explaining the shift in focus in
psychopathology from neuroses to personality disorders. Throughout,
she draws on solid secondary biographies as well as relevant case
studies from her private practice, and she ends with a reasoned
discussion of decidedly Eastern approaches (e.g., meditation) to
counter narcissistsa destructive behavior. The book is written with
a calm directness and achieves the authoras purpose of helping
readers identify and protect themselves from naively tangling with
these personalities. It offers more clinical analysis and
experience than does Eleanor Paysonas "The Wizard of Oz and Other
Narcissists" and nicely complements Nina W. Brownas "Children of
the Self-Absorbed," Highly recommended for university and larger
public libraries.
aDale Farris, "Library Journal"
a"FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST IN YOUR LIFE" by Linda
Martinez- Lewi, PhD (Tarcher/Penguin) may just be the best
investment you will make this year as a guide to recognizing,
coping with, and ultimately overcoming the destructive behavior of
high-level narcissists, whether they be lovers, co- workers,
friendsor parents. Itas one thing to have a healthy self-esteem,
but there are folks who we all know as self-absorbed, conceited, or
egotistical. These people are trouble and this book is an excellent
guide to deal with them.a
a Alan Caruba, "BOOKVIEWS"
a5 THINGS WE LEARNED FROMa]. "FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST
IN YOUR LIFE" By Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. (Tarcher/Penguin)
According to the psychotherapist author, narcissists are people
with extreme senses of superiority who possess no empathy.
Martinez-Lewi believes that high- level narcissists are unlikely to
change, so she offers methods for readers to maintain personal
boundaries, remain psychologically secure and live the life they
choose.
1. As our culture has emphasized financial success and fame, we
have begun rewarding high-level narcissism
2. There is such a thing as healthy narcissism. He or she ahas a
firm realistic sense of self.a
3. aA successful narcissist deludes others into believing he is
genuinely interested in them.a
4. To withstand an eruption of ego from a narcissist, one must be
psychologically grounded. aA grounded individual is secure and
calm; he feels solid at his center.a
5. The world of a narcissist is often complicated. To combat being
part of that world; simplify your own.
aChris McNamara, CHICAGOTRIBUNE.COM
aThe author, psychotherapist and licensed marriage and family
therapist has written a guide making it easier to recognize, cope
with and ultimately overcome the destructive behavior of high-level
narcissists, whether they be lovers, work colleagues, friends or
parents. Drawing on detailed profiles of famous narcissists
including Pablo Picasso, Frank LloydWright and Ayn Rand, she points
out that trying to change a narcissist is impossible and reveals
the steps that must be taken to expel such destructive individuals
from our lives.a
aTucsoncitizen.com
aThe high-level narcissist marches through his many geographies,
conquering new territories, multiplying his limitless control of
the outside world and the lives of those who touch his. Excited
followers anticipate his mood and moves, praying for a favorable
word or glance. The chosen dwell within his cercle daor, chanting
hosannas to his greatness. While his audience is dazzled, the
supernarcissist assesses each subjectas worth to him.
He plays upon their proclivities and weaknesses. Despite the years
you have known him, the hard work you have done, the love that you
express, the sacrifices you have made, the intimacies you believe
you shared-eventually the narcissist will cut you off at the knees,
even attempt to destroy you if he perceives you as an obstacle to
his feverish drive toward ultimate power, control and omnipotence.a
(from FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST IN YOUR LIFE by Linda
Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.)
Does this description sound like anybody that you know? Your
spouse? Your boss? Your co-worker? So, how does one recognize a
atruly toxic narcissist?a According to this insightful book there
are certain signs to look out for:
"aDisplays an extreme sense of grandiosity and superiority.
Is highly manipulative, exploitive, and deceptive in all of his
relationships.
Places his personal and professional needs over the needs of
others.
Is captivated by his delusions of limitless power and
perfection.
Easily lies without any qualm or guilt.
Is incapable of true empathy-the ability to deeply feel and
appreciate another personas emotional state.a"
It was my misfortune to work with a fellow who fit every single one
of these descriptions. This book will help you to recognize this
type of person before it is too late.
What makes them so dangerous? They only care about themselves.
Is this sounding familiar? Do you know one?a
aDaytondailynews.com
aYou will know a narcissist when you see one: he or she loves to
hog the spotlight. Those afflicted with this severe personality
disorder are usually impressive and charismatic people: they
beguile and enchant us with their magic. They never tire of talking
about their experiences or projects which are always extraordinary.
But they are totally lacking in empathy. Just try to discuss what
you are doing or share an idea while they are nervously glancing
around the room to see who is looking at them.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, a licensed marriage and family therapist, has
put together a helpful and informative book for those who want to
know more about high-level narcissists: whether they be colleagues,
friends, parents, or lovers. Here are some of their traits and
behaviors:
*A grandiose sense of self-importance
*A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power,
brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
*A belief that he or she is aspeciala and unique and can only be
understood by, or should associate with, other special or
high-status people
*A high sense of entitlement
*Is interpersonally exploitative
*Lacks empathy
*Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of
him or her
*Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
The book is divided into four sections: The Great Performer, Behind
the Perfect Mask, The Adoring Audience, and Response to the Great
Performer. Martinez-Lewi presents illustrative material on toxic
narcissists with profiles of artist Pablo Picasso,
philosopher-author Ayn Rand, and architect Frank Lloyd Wright,
describing them all as colorful characters whose hearts were hard
and whose egos were gigantic. As the author puts it: aThe
narcissist takes up a vast amount of psychological space, leaving
only room for himself. In his presence, one is unable to breathe or
move, all the available oxygen has been taken by his self-
entrancement.a
Because of this pattern, narcissists make no distinction between
themselves and others: everyone is at their service and disposal.
Since all who come into their orbit are just extras in a private
movie, they are expendable. Narcissists rarely seek therapy, and
their relationships usually end badly. The show just keeps moving
from one place to another. It is a lonely existence.a
aFrederic and Mary Ann Brussat, SpiritualityAndPractice.com
"Psychotherapist Martinez-Lewi combines clinical analysis with
psychological profiles of famous people she believes to have been
narcissists (e.g., Frank Lloyd Wright, Ayn Rand) in this valuable
guide to recognizing, coping with, and overcoming narcissistic
behavior. She focuses on the high-level narcissist, i.e., the
"omnipotent, grandiose, often charismatic individual of
overreaching ambition and palpable hubris," distinguishing
diagnostically between narcissists and borderline and antisocial
personalities. She further presents a historical and societal
perspective on narcissism, explaining the shift in focus in
psychopathology from neuroses to personality disorders. Throughout,
she draws on solid secondary biographies as well as relevant case
studies from her private practice, and she ends with a reasoned
discussion of decidedly Eastern approaches (e.g., meditation) to
counter narcissists' destructive behavior. The book is written with
a calm directness and achieves the author's purpose of helping
readers identify and protect themselves from naively tangling with
these personalities. It offers more clinical analysis and
experience than does Eleanor Payson's "The Wizard of Oz and Other
Narcissists" and nicely complements Nina W. Brown's "Children of
the Self-Absorbed," Highly recommended for university and larger
public libraries.
-Dale Farris, "Library Journal"
""FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST IN YOUR LIFE" by Linda
Martinez-Lewi, PhD (Tarcher/Penguin) may just be the best
investment you will make this year as a guide to recognizing,
coping with, and ultimately overcoming the destructive behavior of
high-level narcissists, whether they be lovers, co-workers, friends
orparents. It's one thing to have a healthy self-esteem, but there
are folks who we all know as self-absorbed, conceited, or
egotistical. These people are trouble and this book is an excellent
guide to deal with them."
- Alan Caruba, "BOOKVIEWS"
"5 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM.... "FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST
IN YOUR LIFE" By Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. (Tarcher/Penguin)
According to the psychotherapist author, narcissists are people
with extreme senses of superiority who possess no empathy.
Martinez-Lewi believes that high-level narcissists are unlikely to
change, so she offers methods for readers to maintain personal
boundaries, remain psychologically secure and live the life they
choose.
1. As our culture has emphasized financial success and fame, we
have begun rewarding high-level narcissism
2. There is such a thing as healthy narcissism. He or she "has a
firm realistic sense of self.'
3. "A successful narcissist deludes others into believing he is
genuinely interested in them."
4. To withstand an eruption of ego from a narcissist, one must be
psychologically grounded. "A grounded individual is secure and
calm; he feels solid at his center."
5. The world of a narcissist is often complicated. To combat being
part of that world; simplify your own.
-Chris McNamara, CHICAGOTRIBUNE.COM
"The author, psychotherapist and licensed marriage and family
therapist has written a guide making it easier to recognize, cope
with and ultimately overcome the destructive behavior of high-level
narcissists, whether they be lovers, work colleagues, friends or
parents. Drawing on detailed profiles of famous narcissists
including Pablo Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wrightand Ayn Rand, she points
out that trying to change a narcissist is impossible and reveals
the steps that must be taken to expel such destructive individuals
from our lives."
-Tucsoncitizen.com
"The high-level narcissist marches through his many geographies,
conquering new territories, multiplying his limitless control of
the outside world and the lives of those who touch his. Excited
followers anticipate his mood and moves, praying for a favorable
word or glance. The chosen dwell within his cercle d'or, chanting
hosannas to his greatness. While his audience is dazzled, the
supernarcissist assesses each subject's worth to him.
He plays upon their proclivities and weaknesses. Despite the years
you have known him, the hard work you have done, the love that you
express, the sacrifices you have made, the intimacies you believe
you shared-eventually the narcissist will cut you off at the knees,
even attempt to destroy you if he perceives you as an obstacle to
his feverish drive toward ultimate power, control and omnipotence."
(from FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST IN YOUR LIFE by Linda
Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.)
Does this description sound like anybody that you know? Your
spouse? Your boss? Your co-worker? So, how does one recognize a
"truly toxic narcissist?" According to this insightful book there
are certain signs to look out for:
""Displays an extreme sense of grandiosity and superiority.
Is highly manipulative, exploitive, and deceptive in all of his
relationships.
Places his personal and professional needs over the needs of
others.
Is captivated by his delusions of limitless power and
perfection.
Easily lies without any qualm or guilt.
Isincapable of true empathy-the ability to deeply feel and
appreciate another person's emotional state.""
It was my misfortune to work with a fellow who fit every single one
of these descriptions. This book will help you to recognize this
type of person before it is too late.
What makes them so dangerous? They only care about themselves.
Is this sounding familiar? Do you know one?"
-Daytondailynews.com
"You will know a narcissist when you see one: he or she loves to
hog the spotlight. Those afflicted with this severe personality
disorder are usually impressive and charismatic people: they
beguile and enchant us with their magic. They never tire of talking
about their experiences or projects which are always extraordinary.
But they are totally lacking in empathy. Just try to discuss what
you are doing or share an idea while they are nervously glancing
around the room to see who is looking at them.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, a licensed marriage and family therapist, has
put together a helpful and informative book for those who want to
know more about high-level narcissists: whether they be colleagues,
friends, parents, or lovers. Here are some of their traits and
behaviors:
*A grandiose sense of self-importance
*A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power,
brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
*A belief that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be
understood by, or should associate with, other special or
high-status people
*A high sense of entitlement
*Is interpersonally exploitative
*Lacks empathy
*Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of
him or her
*Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
The book is divided into four sections: The Great Performer, Behind
the Perfect Mask, The Adoring Audience, and Response to the Great
Performer. Martinez-Lewi presents illustrative material on toxic
narcissists with profiles of artist Pablo Picasso,
philosopher-author Ayn Rand, and architect Frank Lloyd Wright,
describing them all as colorful characters whose hearts were hard
and whose egos were gigantic. As the author puts it: 'The
narcissist takes up a vast amount of psychological space, leaving
only room for himself. In his presence, one is unable to breathe or
move, all the available oxygen has been taken by his
self-entrancement.'
Because of this pattern, narcissists make no distinction between
themselves and others: everyone is at their service and disposal.
Since all who come into their orbit are just extras in a private
movie, they are expendable. Narcissists rarely seek therapy, and
their relationships usually end badly. The show just keeps moving
from one place to another. It is a lonely existence."
-Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, SpiritualityAndPractice.com
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