Introduction: What is Good About Discomfort?
1: Criteria for Choosing a Discomfort Zone Conversation
2: What Comes First
3: The Map and Milestones for Your Conversation
4: How to Listen for What to Say
5: New Perspective—Using Discomfort Zone Conversations to
Breakthrough Barriers
6: Transformation—Using Discomfort Zone Conversations to Embrace
What’s Next
7: Strategizing Your Development Plan
Marcia Reynolds, PsyD, organizational psychologist and certified master coach, is president of Covisioning, a training and coaching firm helping companies worldwide unleash the brilliance in their people. Her clients include American Express, GlaxoSmithKlein, Ernst & Young, and many others around the world. She is a past president of the International Coach Federation.
“While difficult conversations may be the most dreaded task of any
manager, Reynolds (Outsmart Your Brain) maintains that if handled
effectively they can lead to greater employee investment and
retention. Key to this approach is establishing trust and then
progressing to reflective feedback and stimulating questions to
help others regard situations more purposefully and grow beyond
self-set limitations. The DREAM acronym sums up Reynold’s insights:
Determine, Reflect, Explore, Acknowledge, and Make sure. In
essence, this book serves as a course in active listening for
business. VERDICT Learning the skills set forth in this work would
be a plus for any leader.”
—Library Journal
“The book offers a number of helpful tips to probe in a tender way
and maintain equilibrium in the discomfort zone. The value of such
conversations is obvious, and if you want to try helping others
through the discomfort zone, the book may be a good place to
start.”
—The Globe and Mail
“Exceptionally well organized and presented, The Discomfort Zone:
How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs is as
informed and informative as it is thoughtful and thought-provoking.
Very highly recommended…”
—Midwest Book Review
“…even experienced coaches will learn something new.”
—People Management
“This book is for leaders and coaches who want to create
breakthroughs with people who are stuck or resisting change.”
—Talent Grow
“This is that book you want to keep close by, to turn to again and
again to further your skills with those difficult conversations in
the discomfort zone.”
—Zane Safrit, blogger
“Marcia gives real-world, rubber-meets-the-road insights and
tactics to make our interactions count.”
—Vickie Sullivan, blogger
“Reynolds provides brilliant, grounded, and pragmatic tools to
elevate a coaching conversation to an opportunity for growth.”
—Kevin Cashman, Senior Partner, Korn Ferry, and author of the
best-selling Leadership from the Inside Out and The Pause
Principle
“As a CEO, my success depends on my ability to coach my team
through difficult situations that could hold us back. Dr.
Reynolds’s book opened my mind, heart, and gut, teaching me how to
listen and to truly have breakthrough moments with my team.”
—Krista Endsley, CEO, Abila
“Reynolds is a master at applying her extensive knowledge of the
brain to the practical realities of leaders. She brilliantly
applies the latest research on behavioral change to help leaders
create significant learning moments.”
—Deb Giffen, Director, Innovative Learning Solutions, Wharton
Executive Education
“Marcia Reynolds gives leaders the tools they need to go beyond
basic coaching. Both provocative and practical, she lays out a
framework for getting to the heart of the matter in conversations
and includes vibrant case studies to ensure you apply what you
learn.”
—Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, PhD, author of Quiet Influence
“This book leaves leaders and coaches no excuse for avoiding
difficult is- sues. It’s time we all go beyond our comfort zones to
do our best work.”
—Prof. Konstantin Korotov, PhD, Director, Center for Leadership
Development Research, European School of Management and Technology,
Berlin, Germany
“The Discomfort Zone presents valuable techniques to harness
friction, break down limiting perspectives, and create shifts in
thinking. I learned how to constructively challenge my team by
expanding their minds and facilitating growth. You won’t seek being
comfortable again!”
—Bettina Hein, founder and CEO, Pixability
“In The Discomfort Zone, Marcia Reynolds clearly describes how
leaders can be most effective in communicating and coaching their
teams to greater success even in the most stressful
situations.”
—Victor F. Trastek, MD, Emeritus CEO, Mayo Clinic in Arizona, and
Associate Director, Professionalism and Leadership, Mayo Clinic
“They say leaders make lemonade out of lemons; with The Discomfort
Zone, you can turn conflict into career wins!”
—Jeffrey Hayzlett, show host, Bloomberg TV; best-selling author of
The Mirror Test and Running the Gauntlet; and sometime cowboy
“Marcia Reynolds shows us that it is time to quit diffusing
difficult conversations and embrace them. She guides us to use our
head, heart, and gut to create the learning and growth needed to
foster an innovative environment with engaged employees.”
—Betty-Ann Heggie, former Senior Vice President, Potash
Corporation, and member of Canada’s Top 100 Most Powerful Women
Hall of Fame
“No one has approached leadership conversations like this author.
She gives her reader a clear path to progress. Don’t just read and
nod at the ideas here; put them to work immediately.”
—Beverly Kaye, founder of Career Systems International and
best-selling coauthor of Love ’Em or Lose ’Em
“This supremely practical book will guide you to help others move
beyond their resistance. As you develop the confidence to embrace
challenging interactions you’ll liberate tremendous creative energy
and become a more effective leader at work and at home.”
—Michael J. Gelb, bestselling author of How to Think Like Leonardo
da Vinci and Creativity on Demand
“Dr. Reynolds helps us go beyond just ‘getting through’ difficult
conversations. A master coach, she synthesizes the deepest wisdom
from neuroscience and leadership to give us something really
useful. This will be my new go-to guide for leaders.”
—Madeleine Homan Blanchard, cofounder of Coaching Services and CD2
Leadership, The Ken Blanchard Companies
“Marcia Reynolds shows how the ‘discomfort zone’ provides the fast-
est path for helping others fulfill their potential. Her brilliant
book is a guide for leaders at all levels to make a real
difference.”
—Jesse Lyn Stoner, coauthor of Full Steam Ahead!
“Marcia Reynolds reveals the thought processes and techniques used
by masterful coaches to engage others in transformational
conversations. If you’re looking to take your coaching capabilities
to the next level, The Discomfort Zone will prove an insightful and
invaluable guide.”
—Dianna Anderson, CEO, Cylient, and coauthor of Coaching That
Counts
“The Discomfort Zone provides solid practices for making
challenging conversations a powerful tool for helping others learn,
perform, and excel.”
—Chip R. Bell, coauthor of Managers as Mentors
“It’s crazy-making for leaders when they can’t communicate with
their people. They need to enter the discomfort zone where real
connections take place, creating the possibility for breakthrough
conversations.”
—Darelyn “DJ” Mitsch, President, Pyramid Resource Group, and author
of Team Advantage and Zombies to Zealots
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